8.18.2004

I am worn out today... in studio we couldn't decide on desk/box configuration. It was really weird. Imagine 15 architecture students (4th year) trying to discuss a layout in a cramped space. They just don't do things easy. It took forever.

2 comments:

Fred said...

So, since you are discussing being a fourth year (not a third year, or not being in college anymore) am I to assume the final results of the test were good?

Bree said...

Dear Fred...

Funnily enough… about 5 hours ago I found out that I passed.... I FOUND OUT THAT I DIDN'T pass with flying colors! BUT THIS means I am going on.

I had so many people asking me what the grade was. I know they just cared about me and wanted to know. BUT I was pissed because I didn't know... And now that I know I feel like puking! I put so much effort this summer into knowing “structures”. I want to know why I did so horrible.

I don't know what happened tonight but something hit me... REALLY hard. I have not cared about me or architecture the way I used to. I don't know why. I just haven't felt passionate. I think I lost something.
SO I am here in studio right now. I am not going to let things get to me anymore. I have changed so incredibly much I almost want to change focus for a while... Like go on a trip, Meditate and remember “why” again!

I know I am not making sense. I can't really make sense of what I am going through right now. BUT AS OF THIS NIGHT THINGS ARE DIFFERNT.

I am crying right now... Sitting here thinking about how I changed and what WASN’T worth it. I don't know why I have three D's. I Never was the type of person who would let myself let go. I was always trying to be the best THAT BREANNE MICHELLE SPARROW could ever be.

I have not tried in over a year... I lost something AND I want it back... I just want to KNOW WHO I AM AGAIN!!!

When I cry to I usually get mad at myself. Right now I am glad. Because it feel good. I don’t feel like a wuss. I will become the WOMEN I wanted to become. I know I am waxing all self-centered. BUT FUCK IT! ALL YOU MOTHER FUCKERS!!!!! DON’T FUCK WITH ME!

That was as little much I guess, but I learned from you not to say sorry all the time. So I am not… I didn’t mean to miss your call….

OK… I am out!