My spirits are much higher than they have been lately. YAY. Thanx to B..

Tonight I watched one of the stupider movies in a while: The Day After Tomorrow. So I didn't really have that high of expectation but, really, come on.

Maybe if the acting was good or maybe the script or lets say the story. Wait or try not being totally predictable.... IT was a big waste of my time. The best part of the movie was when the "scary" wolves came in....
Okay picture this::::

my friend (no names it is too embracing) was sitting next to me on the edge of his seat his elbows on his knees and finger nails being gnawed off (NO JOKE). Then knowing the there are several bad things that are going to happen in this intense moment:::::: A life boat inflates rapidly making lots of noise CAUSING my friend to JUMP completely out of his seat. I laughed so hard my stomach was hurting. I was almost in tears. HA so my advice to you..... "DON'T BOTHER"

I am out.

(trying to make up the lost time)

WOW! Well I got a little ummmmm.... well..... I was gone. I remember it all, BUT I want to publicly say "I am sorry to all that I affected last night". I had fun, but to you who I woke up I whish you were there. And I don't think they will ever stop playing "I miss you". I like the song. But really it is depressing.

My brother is a little loud when he is drunk, but I found out he really thinks I am lucky (or blessed) and that He wants me to be happy.

So last night... It was my brother, Kerry, Jeremy, Darin, Tyson(we missed Olivia), Ryan, Mae, David, and myself. David is my boss and it was his Birthday. IT was good talking to him. We started out at P.F. Changs IT WAS EXCELLENT. Then ended up at Scruffy Murphy's. It was funny because in Downtown Sunnyvale, which is very small, there are two bars that have the name Murphy's. I guess THEY couldn't handle being original.

I don't have anything to do yet. I am waiting for my brother to clean up his mess so I can "move in". I am still not unpacked. I want work to start so I can occupy my mind with that. This weekend is going to be the longest ever.

I am not myself today. I have a headache.

But I am so excited because I decided That I am going to save my money. This is difficult thing when you are anywhere let a lone in California. I am going to save up for something special. YAY!!!

Oh but I whish this headache would go away.

Well, I am in Texas right now. I am using this cool wireless(HotSpot) thing!!! It is fun. I like this computer too. It is my brother's! YAY.........

BUT this shift key is in the wrong place.

so I am just here waiting for my flight. I was bored... I will write later!

!!!!!!Congratulations to All Graduates!!!!!!!

I want to say a special congrats to Fred. I am so proud and I know you are going Great places in your life. I only hope you find the true happiness that you have been looking for. I will be praying for you like always!

To be perfectly honest I am scared to death right now. I saw a lot of my good friends today and none of us are going to be in town at the same time for a long time. My brother is going to be gone most of the time in Cali. I am going to go stir crazy. I will be working so that is good.

I think I am going to do a lot of cooking. I like to cook. But I will also have to do a structures Test when I get back to Manhattan at the end of the summer. So I must be working on that and I think between those two things and Working I should be busy.


Side thought:::::::

The institution of marriage makes sense to me now. It is not out dated. It is a precious and wonderful thing to have and hold the one you love Forever. To know that one person will never stop loving you and will comfort you. That you can always be there for them and share things that are more beautiful than words can express. Yes, Marriage is something that is for the weak to become strong and not for those who cannot handle this unbreakable commitment. I think those that are married can only know peace in what they have.

I am not saying this because I want to get married any time in the near future (that I can see) but it was something that was just clarified in my mind. It is a bond that is not a confinement but say::: a desired devotion.

Well. I am going to be in California in less than 11 hours. I guess I should not hold on to the fact that I want to be in Manhattan, KS. Okay so there is no letting go of that.

Next time I will tell you about my train ride I had yesterday. Goodnight for now!

A lot has happen since the last time I wrote:

*I am done with studio
*Done with all classes except for structures... That is a huge one.
*Packed most my stuff up in my dorm and studio.

Those are the major things at least. I am leaving for St. Charles at some point next week and then flying out to San Jose. I am excited about my job, but I am not thrilled about not having one I love with me. I know I don't want to just walk off and act if as if I am strong.

I am not really strong at all. I have a mush heart... It used to be hard until someone made my heart beat faster.
I like that rapid pace and I don't want it to slow down and get hard again.

Over-all "today" (5/1/04) was good.

I was in Kansas in the morning. Went in to Kansas City (Missouri) to go buy some flowers for my mother. Drove through to St. Charles. Ended up in St. Louis and visited my mother. ... came back to St. Charles to see my cousins and other family. Us girls went to get a movie and then we bought me hair dye... I was looking for BLUE... They wouldn't let me even think about it. They have never done highlights before... so there are chunks in my hair.... I Like it though! it is a wash out kind, but STILL the first time I have every used dye in my hair.

we watched "the Hours"/ I don't know what to say but I fell asleep.

My dad had to go down to the hospital at 1 am (just a little while ago), because my mom called because they wouldn't do what she asked... I don't really know what is happening, but she has a fever and my dad decided to stay there until it goes down.


I am going to get some sleep.

So I saw my mom...... she isn't doing so well. I can't imagine how she feels... the drugs make her really slow to think as well.. and I didn't see her smile once.

this sux

My mom had her surgery yesterday day. I haven't seen her yet but I am here in St. Charles! The surgery was more of a risk then they let me know! She is ok. But not herself yet!

I walked in my house (no one is here because they are at the hospital)... And I was in the kitchen and on the counter were 6 post-it notes. The first one said "I love you, Rich. Love, Carleen" (rich=dad, carleen=mom). The second one read "I love you, Rick. Love, Mom"........ There was one for Audrey, Me, Ben, and the kid. On Kaityln's it said " Grandma Sparrow" at the end...

They were in case she didn't get to say good-bye.

Right now I cannot express to you how I feel and what is going on in my mind!

I love you, MOM! Love, Breanne